The stars asked the question: what affects the speed of the car? In the first place, of course, the skill of the driver, and only then all sorts of technical characteristics of the car. But the celestial bodies somehow did not think about the state of the roads - where are we going to accelerate, in which puddle we stop, near which groove will we have to slow down ?! Okay, enough about the sad, it's time to return to our July tracks - the week will be lively and fun. Still, even pedestrians do not pay attention to the heat and rush somewhere with bouquets of flowers. The female sex is especially trying - hurray, hurray, Leps has a birthday. In general, we are driving, he still will not sing for us, and the composer is unlikely to look into our region - he is not bad at Olympus either.
Auto horoscope from 16 to 22 July
Aries
Aries, where are you going, have you really gone on vacation? Traffic cops think that way, because you have a happy face, and the car glows with pleasure. It's clear, because on these July days the horse chooses only smooth roads without traffic jams. Still, she would go around the guards' houses, she would not have a price. By the way, be careful, because pedestrians are strange and wild these days. The stars talk about the Papuans - the two-legged dance at the crossings, dance on the sidewalks and occasionally jump out onto the roads. The guys celebrate Miklouho-Maclay's birthday - he once treated the islanders and gave them useful advice. You can take some plastic beads with you - suddenly you can exchange for coconuts, or whatever grows there.
Taurus
Taurus, gasoline is not poured, oil is not sold, traffic jams do not dissolve - it feels like Monday (which is a hard day) stretched out for a week. Learn from your iron girlfriend - the machine is fun and happy with life. The sides shine, the trunk shines, the headlights sparkle - even now for the exhibition. But when you pass the traffic cops, try to restrain the car, and do not forget to make a sad face yourself - let them think that you spent all the money on repairs. And do not be alarmed if you find Mickey Mouse in the back seat - this is not a clinic patient. Just a man celebrates the opening day of Disneyland. Well, at least he didn't dress up in a Scrooge McDuck suit - this curmudgeon will not pay for the fare.
Twins
Gemini, our roads are one huge dead end - where you don't go, you will definitely bump into traffic cops and get stuck next to them for several hours. These are stellar statistics, but you are not threatened with such delights - steer in any direction and enjoy the ride. Just don't be alarmed if you come across a large sausage roll. These are not hallucinations from the heat and officials who are not bored - a common July holiday. People celebrate Hot Dog Day - the food is American, but we are also not averse to feasting. There is no need to bring a miracle in a suit - firstly, it will not fit into the salon, secondly, it will smear everything with ketchup, and thirdly, an iron horse on a diet (look how I lost weight with such and such fuel prices).
Cancer
Cancers, formidable in appearance, soft at heart, a stick in their hands, money in their pockets - guess who it is? But it’s wrong, we’re not talking about a traffic cop, but about a gas station worker. Well, he needs a stick to fend off evil clients. When you get tired of rushing at a speed of 30 km per hour, steer towards the countryside - you will not accelerate there either, but at least no one looms ahead and no honks from behind. If you see some voting typists with pipes in their teeth and violins in their hands, don't drive by - give a ride to the kids. They will brighten up the road with chatter, and they will throw money for gasoline - these are detectives. The people celebrate the birthday of Vasily Livanov, and our Sherlock Holmes is the best in the world. So the horse agrees and laughs happily.
A lion
Lions, why envy the guys who drive the cool cars? Let them have diamonds in the trunk, and platinum in the glove compartment, because all the other drivers are also not baked - we drive ourselves on gold fuel and don’t blow up. In general, free your wallet from unnecessary bills, fill in gasoline and roll to visit (well, or to work). If you are stopped by kind traffic cops, do not rush to measure the temperature or pinch your hand - this is not a dream or a mirage, and the road police during this July period are really affectionate and gentle. The patrol guys are celebrating International Cake Day. Surely they were given a bribe-delicacy in the form of a wand - that would be to taste this creamy-striped miracle.
Virgo
Virgins, brand new markings, brand new zebras, clean sidewalks - are you sure you are not dreaming and are in the real world? But there are no illusions - there, pedestrians have white soles, and some two-legged creatures generally stuck to the paint and stand as if glued (although why: how?). The stars advise you to choose the perfect July track, the route has already been laid - from the garage to the nearest store. But even on a short track, you have a chance to meet dashing guys doing somersaults and splits. Of course, these are Gazmanov fans - Oleg Mikhailovich has a birthday. The horse adores this singer, and when he hears the song "Sailor", he falls into ecstasy and shakes the wheels and windshield wipers.
Scales
Scales, small cars, dwarf traffic cops, scanty wands - do not be afraid, you have not turned into midgets, the stars just see the situation in this way (after all, there is a long way from heaven to earth). But never mind and do not load your horse with this information - in the July days you have enough other worries. When you come across barefoot pedestrians, do not try to supply everyone with slippers and slates - these are not poor people and not homeless people. Just fans of Agutin went for a walk. Leonid Nikolaevich will be delighted when fans come to his house for his anniversary and sing a song about a barefoot boy in chorus. Well, at least the cars from the singer are not happy, otherwise they will start to throw off the tires - and then how to drive?
Scorpion
Scorpios, you are great in this July period - you give way to trams, don't argue with pedestrians, bring grannies. If all the drivers were so polite, the road idyll and road harmony would come to the world. But alas, alas - recklessness is in our price, and without arrogance and a meter you will not pass. And the traffic cops have completely broken records for rudeness - they don't even wave their wands, they will blink their eyes, and the driver is already obliged to stop and listen to the lecture. When you go on the road, dress up in harem pants, and if you are slowed down, tell the rhyme about the passport that you take out of the wide trousers, well, further down the text. At the same time, remember Mayakovsky and celebrate his birthday.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, in the gasoline kingdom, in the fuel state there lived and there was an oil king. And so the fairy tale turned into reality, and the king with joy began to freak out with prices. Continuation, as they say, follows. The stars will not load you with sad stories, especially in such a wonderful week in July, all the chauffeurs rejoice and rejoice. The paths melt from the heat, and even zebras pick up stripes and complain about the high temperature - speed up so you don't get burned. It is better not to accelerate on rural roads - men with braids wander along them. You can mow the grass and celebrate the Avdotya Senognoyka folk holiday. But do not let the horse near the haystacks - he suddenly forgets that it is made of iron, and eats all the hay.
Capricorn
Capricorns, devils live in quiet pools, and traffic cops start up on empty roads - remember this sign and be more careful. It is not clear what is going on on the roads these July days, and even your imperturbable swallow rounds the headlights and sneezes in surprise. If you notice queens, bishops or pawns, do not be afraid - you did not get into the looking glass, and Alice, living in wonderland, will not jump out from around the corner. It's just that amateur chess players celebrate International Chess Day.So that's why the patrol guys don't hesitate to use foul language. They probably lost the game and are worried about the childish mat that the truckers put on them (of course, because the traffic police regulations do not spell out the correct moves).
Aquarius
Aquarians, during this July period your horse is mischievous and kicks - take pity on the wheelbarrow, give it a water massage and do not forget to wipe the dust from the panel. Well, then take her on a journey (although, you still need to figure out who is taking whom). And try not to get nervous about slow drivers - they are not racers, they are just learning. They are called either rams or turtles anyway - in general, until all the inhabitants of the zoo are listed, they will not calm down. By the way, this week you can argue with the traffic cops - they think the earth is round. Correct the patrolmen by referring to Jean Picard. The French astronomer has his birthday in July, and it was he who expressed the idea that the earth is slightly flattened at the poles.
Fishes
Fish, powerful engine, comfortable seats, mute passengers - these are the wishes of the drivers. But you have completely different dreams this July - the stars heard you say that you want to meet generous traffic cops. Not you to them, but they to you - that would be great. But until the fairy tale comes true, follow the rules. And the main advice from the stars - give a lift to grandmothers! Old women are cheerful these summer days, and they pay in a royal way. No, not money, but cucumbers. Well, what, too, is not bad, especially since everyone celebrates the holiday of Pankraty and Kirill and feasts on the first cucumbers. Have you read it? Run to the garage and wash the cans - you will be salting the green delicacy, and in order not to get bored, turn on the car radio.
Cool car fun:
