Car horoscope for the week of April 23-29

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  1. Auto horoscope from 23 to 29 April
    • Aries
    • Taurus
    • Twins
    • Crayfish
    • a lion
    • Virgo
    • scales
    • Scorpion
    • Sagittarius
    • Capricorn
    • Aquarius
    • Fish


The stars suspect that cars are not just pieces of iron on wheels, but quite reasonable creatures. Horses react to the weather, rising prices and the condition of the roads, perhaps even the cars can talk. It remains to learn the language of the car, and harmony and idyll will come in the world of chauffeurs. But let's leave the lyrics and go back to the roads - in these April days, adventure awaits drivers. And along the tracks and zebras are strange creatures in black and white clothes. Well, of course, the guys celebrate World Penguin Day. But why are they handing out portraits of Zhirinovsky? In fact, everything is simple - Vladimir Volfovich has a birthday, it can be noted, cars are not against the holiday.

Auto horoscope from 23 to 29 April

Aries

Aries, check to see if your trunk has flexible rubber link mats. The stars are not frightening, but even the most powerful car can skid (with our roads this is not surprising). But overall, the week will be interesting. The iron horse rushes with delight along the dirty roads and does not even get nervous at the sight of angry traffic cops - why freak out, the patrol guys will never run out. If you see a line of bearded people dressed in warm clothes, do not worry, but give a ride to everyone who will fit in the car. The guys are not tourists or vagabonds, they just celebrate the day of workers of the rotational method - and you will do a good deed, and cut some money for gasoline (rotational workers are rich people).

Taurus

Taurus, driving schools are producing more and more top-class drivers, but looking at the roads, you can't say that. On the tracks, whoever you will not meet - there are turtles, afraid to drive at speeds above twenty, and reckless drivers who do not hear about the speed limit. In a separate list, ladies' cars on expensive cars are beautiful, cute, and completely inappropriate (just don’t tell girls about this, otherwise they will be offended and will never sit behind the wheel). When you stand at a traffic light, do not be alarmed if the tricolor giant starts blinking in the wrong direction - perhaps it transmits information in encrypted form and celebrates Samuel Morse's birthday. Decipher, suddenly dots and dashes indicate the approaching traffic cops.

Twins

Gemini, it's sad to move a kilometer per hour, but you can admire the gray-white-green landscape, inhale the exhaust gases and chat about the chauffeur's life. Although the stars have some good news - there are not many traffic jams these April days, and you will have time to ride on free tracks. The horse will not let you down, and you can take an example from it - both beautiful and clean and well-groomed. It is a pity that bonuses are not given to motorists, and gasoline is not poured for harm. And do not be surprised when you see pedestrians loaded with diapers - this is not a gathering of happy parents, everyone just celebrates Pampers' birthday, but do not load the car with this information, she is not happy about the American holidays.

Crayfish

Crayfish, steer and do not be distracted by traffic cops hugging with wands and pedestrians jumping on zebras, trying not to step on black stripes (two-legged creatures have their own superstitions). By the way, about the signs - if a crow does things on the hood, this is a road acquaintance, and if a sparrow sits on the trunk, this is for cute fellow travelers. Well, and the cat, lounging on the wide and comfortable back of an iron horse, to a good journey. But the ladies we met in clown outfits this week do not carry any fateful clues - women are celebrating Irina Asmus's birthday. The actress and clown was the heroine of the ABVGDeyka program, and the chauffeurs who were born in the USSR, of course, remember her.

A lion

Lions, both urban and rural roads have a lot in common, but the main similarity is in traffic jams - even in remote villages there are congestions, so there is nothing to do in nature this spring week. You won't have to travel far - these April days are fun everywhere, and even smart people in dance costumes crowd around the garages. There is nothing to say about grandmothers - old women are lined up on zebras along with seedlings and are dancing a waltz. Cut in a peppy music and join the retirees - celebrate the world dance day. But do not invite the machine to dance - your modest iron horse does not like all these events and prefers to have intellectual conversations with his own kind.

Virgo

Virgo, you can go north or race east - the essence of this does not change, and the car rushes without slowing down. In these April days, your restless iron horse decided to set a personal record and wind tens of thousands of kilometers. So, stock up on coffee and throw away the comfy pads - you will have to forget about good sleep. But there is another option - look for a reliable person whom you can entrust to drive the car. However, do not give the steering wheel to familiar beekeepers - these guys celebrate Pudov Day and endlessly check the hives. The car will not tolerate bees in its trunk, and the four-wheeled beauty does not digest the smell of honey.

Scales

Scales, flat plains give way to hilly areas, traffic jams disappear, and instead of them there are free routes for thousands of kilometers - so it would go and go, forgetting about work, business, pedestrians, fellow travelers and traffic cops. Alas, alas - in these April days you will have to communicate with both harmful passengers and picky patrol guys. Do not be sad, the iron horse will rule everything - your car is still a diplomat. And if you notice funny Aibolits standing on the tracks hugging cats and dogs, do not drive by. Congratulate the guys, because they are celebrating the international day of the veterinarian. Maybe your iron horse will be healed and petrol drops will drip from stress.

Scorpion

Scorpions, the result often depends on the correct start - try to correctly steer out of the garage without sprinkling a gaping neighbor and not cursing insolent local cats. And then drive straight to the sink and do not forget to drop in for new covers - your horse wants to meet a cute iron horse (spring, and even cars fall in love and have romances). Yes, and do not forget to wash the number thoroughly - numbers and letters must be distinguishable. Many drivers in these April days generally decorated their license plates with ribbons - 117 years ago they first introduced license plates, it is true that it was in New York, but what difference does it make to us (there would be a reason, and we will arrange a holiday).

Sagittarius

Sagittarius, the track is wide, the car is comfortable, the passengers are pleasant, and for some reason you frowned. Can't you forget that meeting with the evil traffic cop? This week the road situation will be good, and even the patrol guys will seem like angels to you (their wings are hidden under their uniforms so they don't gather dust). When you pass pedestrians on the zebra, pay attention to the two-legged creatures in theatrical costumes. Hamlet and Othello cross the road, and even Romeo and Juliet stomp arm in arm. People celebrate Shakespeare's birthday and rush to the holiday - if you want to join, turn left after the crossroads, then twice to the right, and there you will see everything for yourself.

Capricorn

Capricorns, get ready for the journey and do not forget to take the buckets - the stars spied on the road horoscope and saw many puddles on the tracks, more like lakes. It is best to leave the horse in the stall (it will be looked after) and go on a journey on foot. And you will pump up your legs, and you will be a little pedestrian - it's fun, so long as no one sprinkles and scolds for slowness.If you come across white rats, indignantly waving their paws, do not call the Ministry of Emergencies and do not try to catch the poor fellows - the animals celebrate the world day for the protection of laboratory animals. If only the drivers were not taken for the experiments, otherwise the scientists are wondering: how can you stay calm while driving on creepy roads?

Aquarius

Aquarians, hummocks disappeared, puddles dried up, pits were filled up - miracles and only, but these April days, and not that happens. It remains to choose the ideal route, but in this matter you can trust the iron horse - in its motor-head there are both intuition and intellect, and it will take you only along smooth and empty roads. And do not pay attention to the cheerful traffic cops, who hung themselves with colorful paper chains (probably, they glued them all night, like on New Year's Eve). They do not represent holiday trees, but only celebrate DNA Day. The decorations of the patrol guys are not similar to the structure of DNA, but does it really matter - your car is delighted and happily honks and waves the wipers.

Fish

Pisces, stars ordered the drivers to be given certificates of honor for patience and valiant work. But while you are waiting for the award, go visit your comrades - these spring days you have something to discuss. There are a lot of new laws, and there are also enough redone road rules. Well, at least the order about the obligatory helmet for drivers turned out to be an April joke, otherwise it would have been fun to ride in an uncomfortable headdress and suffer from the heat. When you stop by for lunch at a roadside cafe, do not be surprised that visitors mutter the phrase: well, this jellied fish of yours is disgusting. Everyone celebrates the birthday of Yuri Yakovlev (your machine loves to revise the Irony of Fate with the participation of this actor).

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